For generations, young ladies have donned dresses, twirling in heeled shoes around decadent ballrooms clad in glamour and elegance. These young girls will be ladies after coming out to society in their cotillion, with a swirl of white fabric breezing by at a debutante ball.
Debutante balls began as a way of announcing a young woman to society and presenting them to eligible bachelors in the reign of Queen Elizabeth I. In modern times, however, the tradition has evolved away from matrimony to focus more on personal development.
“[Becoming a debutante] means growth and debuting yourself to society,” Londyn Elkins (12) said. “The transition from becoming a lady to a woman … It’s like a caterpillar in a cocoon, transforming into a butterfly and becoming more social.”
Though the purpose of cotillion has changed, the elegance has remained. Cotillions feature a meal, presentations and dances where debutantes show their manners and etiquette. Debutante balls, however outdated, showcase characteristics beneficial to anyone entering society and communicating with others formally.
“We have three dances,” Elkins said. “One with just the [debutantes], the debutantes and the escorts and then one with our dads … Before we do the dances and everything, we’re going to have a three course meal with sponsors, so you have to be presentable.”
In true charm school fashion, debutantes attend classes where they learn soft skills like communication, table manners and public speaking. While these skills are important, coming out to society means being prepared for real world interactions. As such, debutantes are also taught practical skills.
“We take courses in learning how to be a lady,” Memri Nelson (12) said. “We took public speaking, so I am certified in my public speaking. We also learned about personal finance, business [and] basic hygiene. It’s really just girly stuff with a mix of being an adult.”
Debutantes are taught to enter society, not only as participating members, but also as charitable neighbors and pillars of communities. Some cotillion programs require ladies to plan services projects and campaigns.
“We also learn how to help people,” Nelson said. “We actually have this project that we’re doing right now and me and my group, we’re basically building a business campaign for helping women and children in need [who are] of [a] lower class.”
The Hollywood depiction of debutantes coming from upper-class or aristocratic white families is a far cry from the cotillions of today. In the 1800s, debutante balls made their own debut in the American South and became popular in African American communities. Many modern cotillion programs are managed and run by Divine Nine sororities and other organizations that seek to change the perception of cotillion.
“Cotillions used to not be accessible to African Americans,” Elkins said. “The higher-ups [in my program] talk about how they are reclaiming the culture.”
Though the glitz of cotillion can be seen as princessy and the debutantes can be seen as stuck-up and only doing cotillion to dress up, many debutantes find welcoming community in the experience shared with other girls. Nelson’s program connected her with other girls who have helped her grow.
“I was able to build a sisterhood with girls who I’d never met before,” Nelson said. “They’ve become people that I hope I could continue being friends with and learn from as I grow not only as a person but an intelligent woman.”
