“‘L’ is for the way you look at me. ‘O’ is for the only one I see.” You get the picture. Do you ever see those cute couples on TikTok or Instagram dancing in the rain, watching a romantic comedy or sharing a sweet kiss? Do you ever wish that was you?
Well, for some Spartans, it is them. One unique aspect of high school is the chance to experience relationships, both friendly and romantic. Jenna Bennett (11) and Skylar Futrell (11) have been dating for 11 months and describe their relationship as fun, comfortable and easy.
“I would say [our relationship] is fun because, I don’t know, she’s a lot of fun to be around,” Futrell said.
“And we’re very comfortable with each other, it’s easy,” Bennett said. “Like we don’t have to pretend to like each other, we don’t have problems or anything, really.”
High school relationships can also extend beyond one school or even grades. Alexa Nalos (12) attends White Station High School (WSHS), while her boyfriend Tanner Phillips graduated from Westminster Academy and currently attends the University of Mississippi. Nalos has been with her boyfriend since middle school, and they met through their families and from being neighbors.
“I would say [our relationship is] commitment, fun and silly,” Nalos said. “Commitment because you’re committing to one person and, for us especially, it’s been since I was in seventh grade. You’re also committing to communicating with each other and putting in effort for that long to one person. Fun because, a lot of people say [their] boyfriend or their girlfriend is their best friend and they’re just saying that, but he really is my best friend. Silly because we can not take anything seriously. Us together is like one of those things you see on Instagram where it’s like, ‘I could not sit next to you at a funeral,’ [and] like you just start laughing.”
One distinction between high school and adult relationships is the way lifestyles and relationships coincide. For younger relationships, aspects like career, finances and recreational time are less relevant than they are in adult relationships.
“I think that we obviously go on more fun dates than an older relationship would,” Nalos said. “We go watch the sunset, but I feel like a lot of adults don’t have time for that. And we don’t have the financial aspect of anything yet because we aren’t married and we’re still kids.”
To a certain degree, high school relationships are emotionally less mature than adult relationships, especially considering the age and developmental stages the participants are in. Communication and compromise are among the factors that can be impactful in relationships of different ages, with maturity and experience varying.
“With us, we can be a little bit immature at times with each other because we don’t know how to express our emotions the way we should,” Futrell said.
Johave Laureano (11) and Dustin Bobo (12) have been dating for a year and a half after meeting at WSHS. In contrast, Laureano and Bobo believe that high school relationships are often considered to be less serious than they really are and that the permanence of high school relationships is underestimated. With college and adulthood quickly approaching, Laureano and Bobo have discussed what their future together looks like.
“We already know we’re not going to the same college, but we want to get married at like 25 and have kids around the same age,” Laureano said. “[Also] hopefully live together by then.”
Ultimately, high school relationships can be just as real as adult relationships, sharing the same feelings and implications. For Nalos, the positive aspects of being in a relationship are greater than the negative ones, and not taking things too seriously is important for her relationship.
“People think [dating] is so hard,” Nalos said. “I get a lot of [questions like] ‘Oh how are you doing that?’ or ‘How are you dating a guy that’s nineteen in college?’ and it’s not a scary, hard thing. When you know that you want to be with someone and it’s fun, then it’s not hard at all. It shouldn’t be a scary thing, and if it is a scary thing then you probably shouldn’t be doing it.”