When two individuals fall in love, oxytocin, the love hormone, flows through their brains, causing them to develop a deeper bond. However, for some individuals, lust inhibits their oxytocin levels, causing them to crave a relationship without commitment. Individuals whose lust levels rise above others are the most prone to falling into the deep, multi-layered world of situationships.
“With a situationship, you don’t have the same benefits as a romantic relationship,” Joi King (10) said. “In a romantic relationship, people should know about it … but in a situationship you’re more private; it’s like people don’t know about your relationship.”
Situationship is made up of two words – “situation,” which is a set of circumstances one finds oneself in, and “ship,” which is a romantic pairing between two individuals. In simple terms, a situationship defines a romantic relationship where no commitment is involved. It is a new spin on the term “friends with benefits,” where two people have romantic interactions, but it is unclear if they will date each other. While a situationship’s original goal is to produce a relationship experience without commitment, many teens long for a committed relationship with their situationship.
“A situationship is often a relationship where one person cares and sees it as a relationship [while] the other sees it as not important,” Mia Kitterlin (12) said. “I think a lot of people don’t like the expectations that are placed within relationships so they form situationships.”
In the past, people formed romantic relationships by sharing a milkshake with two straws or interlocking their sweaty, nervous hands; today, the formation of a relationship is not that simple. While some individuals can jump into committed relationships, most individuals fall victim to the first stage of Gen Z dating: talking stages. Before a situationship occurs, two individuals express their interest in each other by texting and chatting. In hindsight, the talking stage seems like a simple way to get to know someone. However, many teens lack proper communication skills or are confused about whether they want to be exclusive with their crush, causing the talking stage to blur the lines between situationships and a committed relationship.
“My experience with a situationship was very gut-wrenching and [had] no loyalty,” Alexandra King (10) said. “The person just didn’t know what they wanted. It was very confusing for me because I knew what I wanted. But [they] still talked to me and entertained what we had going on while not knowing if this is what [they] wanted for real.”
Depending on who the individuals are, the next stage of Gen Z dating is the actual dating stage. It is essential to know that for most Gen Z teens, dating does not signify a romantic relationship, but instead consists of going out to romantic places together. The dating stage usually sets the basis for a situationship to occur. Some individuals go on many dates with the same person, revealing deep details about each other. However, for many, as their oxytocin levels slowly rise, lust and commitment issues cause their love hormone levels to decline rapidly. For others, the dating stage sets the precedent for starting a stable relationship with their crush.
“A [romantic] relationship can bring a person more confidence,” Joi King said. “It can give them something to look forward to.”
After the dating stage, three options remain: a relationship, a continuing situationship or no further contact. Many teens crave the chance to experience a relationship in high school but fear their loyalty will not be reciprocated. Throughout recent years, cheating has become a prevalent issue in the world of relationships, causing a growing number of people to fear a committed relationship; that is where the good of situationships come in. The word “situationship” is often characterized by negative connotations; however, not all situationships are terrible. Some teens want a chance to go on dates and form connections with their crushes without dreading getting cheated on.
“I feel like this generation may have a problem with dating,” Joi King said. “I know the ‘cheating’ word is used a lot and I feel it’s become normalized. A lot of people [or] their friends have had bad dating experiences [and] they don’t want to deal with that anymore.”
Most young people in situationships are still exploring who they are and what values they hold. Situationships often take the pressure off getting to know someone and allow many individuals to form connections that leave them wondering if they should take the extra step and commit to each other. Nonetheless, a situationship is still a romantic situation where two people who like each other tend to find themselves in. When one person craves commitment, and the other person craves non-exclusivity, the situationship can become a problem. However, when both parties are content with forming a romantic bond without expecting commitment, then a situationship produces a non-practical way to meet new people and form intimate bonds.
“You can create a serious relationship [at a] young [age] if you put your mind to it and [are] committed,” Alexandra King said. “But overall, in high school, I feel you should not be settling down for a person; just live a little.”